This morning, one of my friends called me to his room to show something he had written and whatever I write here, its only because that writing, straight from his heart, stirred something deep within mine...
Right now, what I am living are the last few days on campus, the last few days of student-life for most of us, the last few carefree days of fun and mirth, before we set foot out(again for me) into that so-called tough, wide,world.
I went through such a phase when I was leaving engg college, that too was one such foray into the "big, bad world" but things were different then. My age for one, was a good 4 years less and then, the pangs of separating from the friends you had literally grown up with, overrode all other worries and apprehensions. You knew you would be able to meet only a few of them sometime later but the larger chunk would perhaps ever be able to get together again..not like THAT at least. And the friends stayed, so did their friendships, through the better part of these 4 years. Why I wonder, as I look back from where I am standing right now.
I think because our friendships back then were never made on the foundations of needs and benefits. They were not made for getting work done, for winning prizes or marks, for reducing "per-head" cost or for getting some additional space to spend our times in. In fact, we used to say we were friends for "simple time-pass" but somewhere beneath all that thoughtless masti and merrymaking, the bonds deepened. Over time, they got seasoned by genuine care and concern for each other and of course that all-important feeling of love. And became the the bonds worth reckoning. The bonds that started over a cup of tea, sealed over a hot samosa from the canteen or a pattice at Ding-Dong, flavoured with an ice-cream from Jal Mahal or a pastry from Bake Hut and got toasted to by a glass of booze. They blossomed into something stronger and trust me, that helped. The power of the strong but simple friendships that were forged there gave a strange kind of strength when we met the corporates on our first jobs, some of us barely stepping out of our teens, some as kiddish as ever. It helped us shine, rather outshine a lot of "mature" people, and make our mark out there. And these bonds, these friendships still live on, through the ups and downs that the times dish out, they breathe on,in our thoughts, hearts, in our lives.
When I came back to campus, I thought I'm getting another chance to forge as good relationships, to meet as good people, to shower my love on as equally caring souls. But little did I know what the bargain was. 'Twas a much closer gathering no doubt, much more intertwined lives but much further distances. A larger chunk of almost everyone lurked below the surface and what met the eye formed a face, you could only watch, see and smile at. Forget seeing that face break into joy for you, or those eyes welling up with tears for your sake. The rules were different here. You were not supposed to fall into the "trap of friendship" with "people who could not be of any use to you", you were not supposed to like someone "just like that", you were not supposed to be too frank with people and fie on you if you chose to be apolitical. That simply couldn't happen here. You only had to choose to make things simple and people would accuse you of being "dumb", "cowardly" or "cunning and power-hungry" too! A "KingMaker" is what you would be called if you chose to ever support your friend and stay out of the run, an "over-ambitious and double-standards" person is what your would be called if you simply expressed a cherished wish someday but chose not to pursue it as badly as the others. And dare you go against the all powerful "cartels" and your head would be rolling somehere, its respect I mean. Your very friends would be turned against you and the whole campus would be agog with how scheming you've been. A beautiful picure, right?!!
Well, what could I possibly have to say about friendships when a major portion of them were made not for companionship or sharing the good and bad times but for completing assignments, for having someone to share the expenses with or for having someone to crack jokes with. Seek someone out in distress and hear the sheer ingenuity of excuses. be Be ready to be remembered only when you are needed, not when you need somebody. Believe in someone and be stabbed with rumours about you by that very person. Help someone out by being a pal and be prepared to lose yours to them. Its happened here, happened to many of us, many a time but some just choose to laugh at it, some blow their top, while others just recoil into their cocoons. A real hopeless scenario, ain't it? And you wonder how people like a few of us who've tasted what true friendships can be like, survive in a place such as this Hades..
Passing Thoughts on Friendship - PART III
That, my dear readers, is what would like to end this trilogy in. Finally, I can come down to my last few thoughts, about people who though only a meagre handful have made a tremendous difference in my life here. They are those who love their friends not because they need to get their work done but because they would like to make someone's life happier and face cheerier. These are the people who have held their heads high and shoulders strong through the worst of times and who've never fliched in taking up a good cause. These are my friends, the rarest of specimens your would find in a place like this, and treasure them I sure do, with as much care that I can. Of course they have had their weak moments when they might have forgotten me or when they chose to believe someone else, but they are the ones who've always come back, who've always taken Me back, with open arms and no questions, people who've been there for me at almost all those times I sought them out.
These are the ones who've dared to stay apolitical, who've chosen to be in the hubbub of things, yet have safeguarded their integrity and sanity. These are those people who may not shine at the top of the class, who may not be the so-called stars, who may not be the most outstanding personalities, yet they possess something that perhaps even Satan may kill for, that fundamental humane nature, that closeness to the Almighty that keeps them on the righteous path, that beautiful heart filled with joys higher than the material pleasures.
And this might as well be a pean to them I guess. A rather longish Thank You note while I part from these precious people. Hope the Gods bless your lives with a lot of success, prosperiety and peace and fill their milieu with love and togetherness.
And the rest, well, I do owe something to you too. After all you spared no sweat in your efforts either. Thanks for having helped me learn about life and the world, the harder way no doubt. For were it not for you, I would have lost out on such valuable lessons though I only hope you don't get to learn anything in the way I did.
God bless all of you...all, nevertheless.
